The wealthy are preparing for the Nibiru cataclysm, according to a story initially broken by CBS and later reported on The Drudge Report. According to whistle-blowers—including ostracized NASA scientists and political figureheads—the Nibiru apocalypse is upon us. Said to be a brown dwarf star with seven orbiting planets on a near collision course with earth, Nibiru has been a controversial subject with conspiracy theorists and truth seekers for over three decades. The government, they 
argue, has actively colluded with mainstream media to conceal the truth: that sometime soon—dates are speculative—Nibiru will ravage the Earth, causing unprecedented tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and worse, as it nears our inner solar system.
Nibiru scientists and researchers have debated Nibiru’s expected date of arrival, but generally agree that the dark star will pass between Earth and the Sun around Christmas 2017, 2019, or 2063, depending on the source. Former NASA scientist Dr. Ronald Shimschuck opined that Nibiru would reach perihelion in late 2017, and cause a near-extinction level event (ELE) on reaching .3 astronomical units—approximately thirty million miles—from Earth.
“This will be a horrible time for humankind,” Dr. Shimschuck said. “Humanity, as we know it, will face a great challenge when Nibiru, or Planet X, passes between Earth and Sol. I have seen the data, I have seen the timetables. This is happening now.”
Former USGS climatologist Dr. Ethan Trowbridge was quoted as saying, “There is no more Hurricane season. There is no more tornado season. This is Nibiru season.”
Our exclusive source, a Wall Street wizard and financial expert operating under the pseudonym “Mr. Black,” reported that his wealthiest clients—millionaires and billionaires—had sold their assets to build elaborate shelters in hopes of surviving the impending Nibiru apocalypse. With one years’ delay, mainstream media reports 
have substantiated his revelations.
“I tried to tell people months ago,” said Mr. Black. “But they just wouldn’t listen. I was warning people as to what is going on right now. The wealthiest people in the world, including President-elect Donald J. Trump, are spending millions and trillions of dollars on complex survival shelters to ride out Nibiru.”
Today, CBS confirmed Mr. Black’s discovery. An unnamed, shadowy investment group has devoted $300,000,000 dollars toward constructing an underground community replete with retail space and private homes. The development, located northeast of Dallas, Texas, will have an equestrian center, an eighteen-hole golf course, gun ranges, polo fields, restaurants, and elevator-lift helipads—all located one-half a mile beneath the Earth’s surface.
A construction worker, speaking under conditions of anonymity, said, “This will be a place for society’s elite to survive whatever disaster might come. Be it a nuclear bomb or a space borne crisis like Nibiru. Blast doors will protect them from the worst possible threats. It will have off-grid energy and its own water reclamation facility. State of the art.”
To prevent boredom and insanity, the lavish community will also contain a 1:1 scale replica of the New York Stock Exchange, so wealthy residents can simulate a typical 9-to-5 workweek 
while the outside world burns. The investment firm retained renowned media personalities—like Fox News’s Megyn Kelly and Bill O’Reilly—to provide residents with an endless stream of fictional news.
A casino, complete with blackjack, poker, and slot machines, will offer residents hours of fun and entertainment, said Jeff Downing, a silent investment partner.
“While the world above us disappears, we aim to give our residents the illusion of normalcy,” Jeff downing said. “They’re not going to want to hear that Nibiru has scorched the Earth, killing friends and relatives. So we have paid important personalities large sums of money to get on-board with our project. They’ll deliver news to give our residents good feelings. Kelly and O’Reilly will enjoy Trident Lake housing at no charge. However, since the dollar will have no value after a nuclear of Niburan holocaust, it has been agreed that, after D-Day, Mr O’Reilly and Ms. Kelly will be paid in tuna fish cans and pickled eggs.”
A future resident, also wishing to remain anonymous, confided that he has already shelled out two-million dollars for a fifteen-hundred square foot home within the underground community. “This is not just some hole to hide your head in,” he said. “This will be one of the greatest survival resorts in the world. I expect my family to survive Nibiru, and Trident Lakes [the name of the facility] gives us that opportunity. I’m looking forward to a round of golf with Obama or Hillary down there.”
Named in honor of the Trident nuclear missile, Trident Lakes, originally designed for surviving a nuclear war, has since matured into the go-to place for wealthy Nibiru preparation enthusiasts.
Trident Lakes CEO Jim O’conner told the Houston chronicle that Trident Lakes will provide residents with a luxurious life beneath the Earth. According to O’Conner, Trident Lakes will have 400 condominiums capable of sheltering 1600 people for up to five years. “This will be the best place to survive Nibiru,” he said.
He expects completion by 2018, if Nibiru doesn’t strike first.
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