Allegedly wealthy Republican nominee Donald J. Trump should have demolished Hillary Clinton during the first presidential debate, seen by over 100 million viewers worldwide. Many—including Russian President Vladimir Putin—expected Trump to confront Clinton on the Nibiru cover-up, but unexpected events transpired, causing Trump to tailspin out of control. His normally focused mind was compromised; 
his ordinary calm demeanor yielded to an odd quiescence, as unexpected as Hillary’s head nodding or slow blinking characteristic of Parkinson’s. The Trump that America has come to know and love turned into something else—a blithering pile of goo unable to structure a simple sentence or convey his thoughts. Trump was certainly in no condition to discuss the approaching Nibiru cataclysm, or any complicated subject matter.
Viewers and readers around the world took notice, and expressed alarm at Trump’s sudden evaporation. The Saker, an English language website written by Russian expatriates, collected an alarming number of comments that accurately reflect the debate’s shocking outcome.
One commentator wrote: Since I might be asked about that, I might as well share my opinion about the debate tonight. Frankly? I was absolutely horrified. I had expected Trump to completely slaughter Hillary, but what happened tonight was the exact opposite. My son put it best “it looked like a kindergartner trying to argue with a college professor.”
Another: Hillary knew all the tricks, she was superbly prepared and she truly is a world-class liar. Oh, and she also looked healthy and in control (so much for the Hillary is sick and cannot control her temper theory; when she wants, 
she clearly can)
And another: Trump looked completely outclassed, he spent most of the time on defensive (Hillary attacked him almost immediately). Worst of all, not only did he called her “Secretary Clinton” while she called him “Donald”, but he regularly uttered “here I partially/generally agree with Secretary Clinton” whereas she, of course, never agreed on anything. If the ability to lie, to frame a question and to use ugly ad hominems are the weapons of politics, then Hillary totally out-gunned Trump.
A few more:
Trump was mostly passive and constantly on the defense. He also repeated himself so many times his one-liners soon turned boring and stale. In contrast, Hillary easily eluded each one of his attack and always had a comeback ready. Finally and predictably, the moderator was clearly hostile to Trump, as was the crowd which resulted in several “you are no Kennedy, Senator” moments.
The moment when Trump agreed to the obscene notion of people which have been put on the “do not fly” list also being
denied their 2nd Amendment rights probably lost him all the libertarian votes. As for the progressive vote, he probably lost it when he brazenly admitted using US bankruptcy laws to protect his business interests. His constant attacks against Iran and his reference to Bibi Netanyahu certainly proves his clumsy (and futile!) attempts at appeasing the Israel Lobby. And when Hillary brilliantly hammered him with the accusation that racism made him question Obama’s birth certificate, Trump found nothing better to retort than to say that he was proud that a club he created in Palm Beach was commended for not discriminating against “against African-Americans, against Muslims, against anybody”. This was actually painful to watch.
One brief, insightful, ominous comment stood out above the rest: Tonight, listening to this catastrophe I found myself thinking that if Trump could not stop Hillary, Putin would have to, and that this would be very, very dangerous for the entire planet.
This is a sobering comment, the thoughts of which have been echoed by the Kremlin. A Foreign Service report, prepared by the Russian Ministry of Defense, illustrates Russia’s disappointment in Trump’s debate performance: “Russia had high hopes that Mr. Trump would 
destroy evil Hillary Clinton. But this did not happen and has caused much alarm within our government. Trump is our last hope for peace. President Putin knows that Hillary Clinton will never disclose Nibiru, as Trump has promised to do. Hillary, like Obama, will try to block it. And this we cannot allow, no matter what the cost. What happened to Trump, we do not know, but something did happen and we would like to know why,” the report concluded.
Initially, this website attributed Trump’s collapse to two factors: Hillary’s exemplary debate preparation and a liberally aligned moderator, working in collusion to stump Trump. After a careful analysis of the facts, we realized there was more to this story, and that something was afoot. Our professional investigators ferreted out the true reason Donald Trump flubbed the debate. The investigation demonstrates that Trumps lackluster performance can be attributed to more than simply poor preparation: Donald Trump had been drugged.
A company titled Corporate Coffee Systems (CCS) is the leading distributor of bottled Evian water in New York State, and is the organization Trump has used to provide drinking water to his campaign hotspots across the country. Records also prove he had twelve cases of Evian water delivered to the debate at Hofstra University.
After the debate, our embedded source observed strange behavior at Trump’s campaign headquarters.
“Despite Trump’s loss to Hillary, they were partying like it was the end of the world. It was a wild party. Donald was dancing to rap music, drinking, and shouting obscenities into the air. Ivanka was dancing on a table, twerking. And Melina almost disrobed in front of everyone. Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager, vanished into a private bedroom with a visiting Russian dignitary who I cannot name, but his initials are VP,” our source revealed.
This information prompted our investigation into the drinking water, the outcome of which hints at a diabolical scheme designed to scuttle his campaign before he can expose Hillary’s deepest, darkest secrets. To understand the gravity of the situation, facts must me made clear:
Fact I: Donald Trump loves Evian water
Fact II: Trump must have fresh water, and all unopened bottles from the previous day are exchanged for new bottles. So, Donald Trump’s
Evian had to be delivered daily, between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM.
Fact III: Until the day of the debate, all shipments arrived exactly on time.
Fact IV: The September 26 shipment to Hofstra University and Trump’s campaign headquarters arrived several hours late.
The inescapable concussion is that something happened during those missing hours, causing the delay in shipment. If only one delivery was late, a rational person would chalk it up to coincidence; the tardiness of both deliveries paints a more sinister picture, hinting at foul play. Our secret source obtained shipping manifests and GPS reports for both delivery vehicles, tracing their progress from Evian’s distribution center to their final destinations. One vehicle made an unscheduled pit-stop at the Blue Moon Motel in Vail Mills, NY. Highly credible witnesses observed the driver exiting the vehicle, accompanies by a tall, blonde woman.
“I saw the driver get out of the truck with the woman,” said Flora Florantina, a motel cleaning lady. “Five minutes after they had checked in, another delivery truck arrived, parked next to the first one, and unloaded cases of water. Two uniformed delivery men loaded cases into 
the first truck. I passed by two minutes later, as they were loading cases into the second van; then they drove off at once. They could not have been there more than five minutes. I think this was all very strange. Later, I call my sister, who does housekeeping at the Lost Dog Motel in Mosherville, and what do you know? She said the same exact thing happened where she works!”
This presents a frightening scenario: it is likely the “beautiful woman” that Flora Florantina saw was a “honeypot” who intercepted and seduced the delivery driver. Was she planted by the Hillary campaign to keep the driver occupied while her associates tampered with the Evian water shipment? We have no evidence for that as yet; but does any reader have a better expiation for the waylaying of deliverymen at both the Blue Moon and Lost Dog motels.
Our source recovered three half-empty water bottles from the debate hall. He examined them under ultra-violet light for signs of tampering, and discovered that the bottom of each bottle had been punctured; an eight-micron hole, created with a hypodermic syringe, had been resealed. The bottles were sent to the Carlson Company—a world leader in forensic testing—and underwent a comprehensive battery of tests. Each bottle contained trace elements of Lysergic acid diethylamide, a recreational drug more commonly known as LSD.
Although no conclusive evidence links Hillary Clinton to this treacherous crime, most sane and reasonable people can put the pieces of the puzzle together and determine for themselves who masterminded this operation against Donald Trump.
We called both Sorcha Faal and the Washington Times, offering to share our findings with them, for a moderate five-figure fee, but they hung up on us.
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